Jake Brahm Wangs Da Poo

Since when

2006-10-06T01:01:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #119
Poo Wanged: #120
Poo Wanged: #121

OK. Now that I've made some kind of point about something (I've fogotten what), it's time to get back on track with once every three days. No joke.

Thrice lay

2006-10-02T03:05:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #117
Poo Wanged: #118

I came. Twice.

It's half the battle

2006-09-29T02:55:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #115
Poo Wanged: #116

I can't remember exactly if this should be a double post, or just a single. But I'm giving myself the doubt and putting up two. Just incase if you were wondering if I had masturbated recently...now you know.

Opps...

2006-09-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #113
Poo Wanged: #114

Ah! I've slipped back to where I was in 2005, and I remember now why I wanted to cut back in the first place. Wanging da poo is getting very, very boring now, and is being used a time consuming activity, and nothing else. It is when I stop thinking conceptually about masturbation that I begin to take it for granted, touching too much.

I'm going to try to get back into the style of early 2006, if not in posts at least in quanities.

ice

2006-09-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #111
Poo Wanged: #112

Yestaday and today. Like a man.

How much longer?

2006-09-21T00:22:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #109
Poo Wanged: #110

It was pointed out to me recently that I've been breaking the original rules that I created in the opening of this blogaroo.

To that I say: fuck it. This isn't even the same blog as it was when I started it. What a shame.

Who I am

2006-09-17T23:09:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #107
Poo Wanged: #108

I don't know if it's acceptable for me to be posting two at once like this. Honestly, I probably should've given up on this thing in March, once I gave up on the funnie. Oh well. There's always next year.

Booya

2006-09-14T00:38:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #105
Poo Wanged: #106

Two in one night because I'm a manly fucking man.

Long enough

2006-09-12T00:30:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #103
Poo Wanged: #104
Two for one special. Last night I didn't feel like recording my wanged poo, so I'm making up for it tonight. It looks like I'm digging the sprinting idea. Long distance or short distance?

Penis

2006-09-10T00:36:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #102

I Get Wet

2006-09-07T22:20:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #101
Now that I think about it...what's the point of trying to not masturbate? lol It's a little late to think about this...but I've forgotten what I was meaning to do in the first place here. I've cut back on my poo wanging...is that a good thing?

I've been thinking it could be funny if I tried to sprint to the finish. See how many times I could masturbate in the last quarter of the month. Coming October.

Unceremoniously

2006-09-06T00:22:00.000-07:00

POO WANGED: #100

Octogon Controll

2006-09-04T22:25:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #99
Tonight I found what I was destined to find. Similar to my musical quest that eventually led me to denpa, the click trail that landed me at HomemadeMpegs was epic. I took it as a sign that one of the first thumbnails shown was that of RussianStudentOrgy.avi, which as you may know is in my top 5 best pornographic files of all time.

It would have been perfect if I had gotten this this site just one poo wang later. For my 100th cumming I could've started a new life, but alas, fate has me at 99.

Smmy

2006-09-03T01:09:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #98
Better Nate than lever.

:)

2006-08-31T14:29:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #97
:)

Germany

2006-08-31T01:11:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #96
Ert, skeet skurt. Pump your breaks. The whole get down. All of that.

Sneeze

2006-08-28T23:46:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #95
A little past midnight I did the deed, but only now I am getting around to telling you about it.

Couldn't make it

2006-08-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #94
Midnight, midnight, midnight...OH SHI-.

Bible sex

2006-08-24T22:41:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #93
Something funny just happened. While I was typing in blogger.com in the url box there were only two sites that I have previously visited that began with B's: Bible.org and fucking Bestsexmpegs.com, which is just a pop up site that showed up when I clicked a wrong preview link, and does not represent the pornographic selection I tend to favor.

Just thought I'd share that.

A gun

2006-08-23T01:45:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #92
Some day I think I will go to California and kill a pornographer. Someone like Max Hardcore, or the fags who run FacialAbuse. These are the types of people that make me hate pornography sometimes.

Flu

2006-08-20T23:12:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #91
How can I explain the intricate balance that exists when you masturbate while sick with the flu? I've tried several times just now to accuartely describe the experience, but each time it just didn't come out right. It's something you really just have to do for yourself to understand completely.

Needless to say, it's very good and very bad at the same time. It's good because masturbation is always good, but it's bad because you are expending energy that would be better used somewhere else. Also, after I ejaculate my headache became 2.17 times stronger than it already was.

All together it was worth it.

Ten mo'

2006-08-18T00:12:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #90
The thought of wanging da poo tonight hadn't even crossed my mind until an avid reader mentioned it in a conversation we were having. That spark was enough to lead me to the dark side, and the rest is history.

August has been pretty great so far, here's to keepin' strong...

Grey

2006-08-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #89
I downloaded one of the batch amatuer torn porrents at PureTNA tonight. After watching these short clips of homevideo fucking it goes me thinking about pornography and sex again. Most of the stuff has already left my brain, like some sort of moment of clairity but with cum instead of beer.

It's a shame what this has become. Rarely do I ever contribute worthwhile thoughts anymore. Keeping a running tally isn't nearly as engaging as waxing philosophical on Japanese fantasy rape scenes or Ultimate Warrior.

Some other time.

Boobs

2006-08-13T13:50:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #88

How many times did you masturbate in 2006?

2006-08-11T01:49:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #87
Today shouldn't really count. I haven't regressed to July at all, instead I made a conscious decision to wang da poo as a celebration, rather than an instinctive reaction. I could've made it another two days easily if I wanted to, but instead I decided to take it easy.

3x

2006-08-09T23:44:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #86
Pretty standard. It's for definite now that I'm back into the old rotation. Not sure what this implies in the bigger picture, but hopefully at the end of the year I can put everything into context.

October

2006-08-06T23:18:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #85
Err...I guess I spoke too soon. At least I was able to make it this far, which is quite the accomplishment compared to what July was. I've gotten out of that rute for good I hope, and I'll be back to my steady once every three or four day groove.

Strech.

2006-08-06T16:14:00.000-07:00

Now it's time to make good on the August promise. With this short lead that I've been giving I'm going to try streching it out for as long as possible. Strech.

Darn

2006-08-02T23:55:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #84
More of the same. Ridiculous.

Happened

2006-08-01T22:40:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #83
Well, that happened.

It was pretty naive of me to think I could go for a month without wanging da poo. In my head it was gonna be real simple, and I already had ideas about things to say as the countup progressed.

Still, going for three days with only one poo wang is a pretty good start for August. If I can keep this up it'll be a good thing.

August

2006-08-01T13:06:00.000-07:00

Wangs Un-Pooed: #1
August is going to be the month where I rebuilding what was devestated in July. To start off the month with a bang I'm going to make a conscious effort to not jack off for as long as I can. The goal is to make it through the whole month, but that's pretty ambitious; if I make it one week I'll be happy.

It's already been a challenge. I've had this coming and going boner since I woke up that really wants to be taken care of. Staying strong...staying strong...not gonna touch my weiner...

August

2006-07-30T17:33:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #82
Just wait for August.

Nothing

2006-07-29T00:02:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #81

Lies

2006-07-27T15:57:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #80
I lied. Or, I didn't know what I was talking about.

Whatever

2006-07-27T01:42:00.000-07:00

If I can get through today without wanging any poos I think I'll be able to turn a new page. This is a preemptive post that aims to prevent anything from happening today. Let's see how this goes.

Don't know

2006-07-25T23:55:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #79
Yeah. I don't know. Shit's fucked up.

For Hezbollah

2006-07-25T21:52:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #78
I was going to wait until after midnight to post this poo wang, but that would just dishonest and would taint my thus far completely accurate data. Yes, I have masturbated for the fourth day in a row. That is really harsh. I still don't understand why. What a world.

Normal

2006-07-24T13:15:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #77
Unprecedented. Three straight days with a poo being wanged. That's some fucked up shit. It may have been considered acceptable when I was in 7th grade, but now that's just fucked up. Hopefully this will be a turning point, though. Now that I've got this streak out of my system, I can start working on building up my average again. Ridiculous.

Narf!

2006-07-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #76
It's such a shame. What the fuck is up with July? It's always been my least favorite month of the year, usually because of the heat. This year, however, it's because of the seemingly constant masturbation. Really, I don't know what's come over me.

Also, when I threw up my spunk just now, I thought of something intresting. How come no one was masturbating in Lady In The Water? If I had Byrce Dallas Howard naked in my shower I would definitely jerk off over her. Why didn't Cleveland do this? He had many chances, but never once went for it. Pfff...that's Hollywood for ya.

Strawberry

2006-07-22T00:16:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #75
I almost forgot to write this one down, but here it is. It another one just past midnight, which will mean it'll feel like +1 days from here until the next time. Rough.

Tick tock

2006-07-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #74
Wanging da poo on the stroke of Midnight is a bad idea because it messes up your internal clock. While I feel like I've made it for three days the reality is that it's only been two since last time. Nothing I can do about it now, I guess.

Fumble

2006-07-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #73
This is really confusing me. I just haven't been thinking about masturbation in the right context recently. I've also been feeling different about it. Needless to say I'm very disappointed in my performance thus far in July. It's a real shame.

That's why my goal is not to masturbate for the whole month of August. I know that's really ambitious, but I need to correct the wrongs of July somehow. Also, if I could get through all of August without wanging da poo there might be a chance of staying in the double digits for the whole year. Maybe?

I hate August. It's the wrost year of the month, I just want September to come, because that means October is coming, and that means it'll start getting cold again.

Mind game

2006-07-16T12:11:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #72
I can't remember exactly, but I think this could only be the second or third time I've masturbated in consecutive days. Really I don't know what's up. It very well could be the sign of terrible things to come. My increased wang pooing could be the reason for Israel being such jerks right now. If the world blows up there'll be no one but my penis to blame.

Also, while watching the porn today something struck me all of a sudden. What are the people who are being filmed fucking thinking about? Specifically I was watching this scene where one girl was sucking on some guys wang chop and then another girl was behind her licker her poonany while a guy fucked her snatch. What possibly would have been going through the mind of the girl who was sucking dick and getting her pussy licked? I can't even begin to guess, because really it could be just about anything.

Hopefully one day I can meet a real life porn actor and ask that person this question.

More wanging

2006-07-15T09:31:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #71
Apparently the days of going once every three days are far behind me. For all the month of July thus far I've been doing nothing but every other day. This might not be that bad, I suppose, but I'll really have to turn this shit around in August. Just to see if I can. Need the drive.

Porn quest

2006-07-13T11:54:00.002-07:00

Poo Wanged: #70
It's lame when a scene pictured in a thumbnail isn't included in the preview clip you downloaded after clicking that thumbnail. If I want to be selective with the quality of the pornography I down then people can't be pulling the switcharoo on me. Sometimes, of course, it's a good thing, because the preview downloaded can end up ever hotter than what originally was shown, but in general it is a manipulative practice that yields few rewards.

This is one of the reasons it is more reasonable to just download large torn porrents. If you go in with no specific expectations then everything will turn out mostly pleasent. If a scene is shown on the box art for the release it has to be on the video, and hunting down that scene can sometimes be a fantastical adventure. A porn quest.

Porn quest

2006-07-13T11:54:00.001-07:00

Porn quest

2006-07-13T11:54:00.000-07:00

Ring

2006-07-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #69
Well, I thought I would turn the page after the last poo that was wanged, but it doesn't seem like it's turned out that way. My average has been pretty damaged from this month, but when I eventually start cutting back I'll probably be able to build it back up in time. It looks like keeping in the double digits for the year is going out the window, as it would mean that I could only wang chop about thirty more times this year, and that ain't gonna happen unless a specific series of event occure.

One more time

2006-07-09T19:09:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #68
Sometimes I think my penis is bi-polar or something. There are periods that it can go through where it doesn't really want to do much, like the once every four day streak that I was going through a little earlier in the year. To counter act that phase, however, there are times when it wants nothing more than bishop bopped every day. Unfortunately I've fallen into one of those times recently.

The problem might be that I've lazily stock piled too much quality porn on my computer. Couple that with the bout of inexplicable boredom I've been going through and you have yourself a nasty combination. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to get rid of the collection I've amassed and to start anew. Half of the fun of masturbating is the search and acquisition of fresh, exciting pornography.

However this is resolved (and I do expect it to be resolved soon) I am bound to enter a different phase of my masturbation cycle. With a little bit of luck I'll be able to get back to my much more respectable 4 day habit.

Devestating

2006-07-08T12:09:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #67
Damn, I've been on a real nasty strech here in July. Really I've just been doing nothing all day, and boredom is the leading cause in poo wanging, so it makes sense. I should try harder, but really trying is something I don't do much of. Ah well.

Lord, help me, Lord

2006-07-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #66
'Nuff said again.

Yo yo yo

2006-07-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #65
'Nuff said.

Airman?

2006-07-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #64
I went to bed with a mild headache, and I woke up with a terrible headache. To releave some pressure I thought I'd wang some poo. One of the themes from a Megaman 2 villian was stuck in my head while I poo wanged. I wouldn't've remembered to write this down for a while had I not started whistling the theme song again. What a world.

lol

2006-06-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #63
This stopped being funny a while ago, but I am a man of dedication and perserverance. I'll stick with it to the end! Or maybe I'll try to make it funny again eventually. Who knows.

Suddenly

2006-06-27T07:57:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #62
Four days, yay. Up until today I hadn't really thought about pornography at all. I could've made it five days maybe, but suddenly I remembered that I hadn't wanged poo, so I went for it.

Assimov

2006-06-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #61
One of the robot kids I talk has a pretty ingenious system. He has a parental controll that makes you put in a password every time you visit a boobie site. Each time he wants to wang da poo he's gotta type in "gooutsidemore". That's pretty clever.

Pokemon

2006-06-20T12:31:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #60
Like clockwork.

Also, I found a torrent for the old PORNOGRAPH series that starred Airu Kaede. It's a reassuring feeling to know that I've got some Airu around to comfort me if I ever need it.

We're almost halfway through the year, and I've just hit sixty. I don't like where this is going, I really wanted to stay in the double digits for the year. If I want to make that I have a long, hard road ahead of me. Oh poo.

Ah

2006-06-17T03:12:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #59
The thing that sucks about waking up at 8 o'clock PM is that you have a very long night ahead of you. It's easy to become bored when it's dark out, and one of the things you can do to pass some time is wang da poo. That's what I did tonight.

The Set Up (You Need This)

2006-06-16T00:21:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #58
It's all about the set up. Anyone can film two people fucking, but putting it into an appropriate context is something you can't fake. The problem with a lot of professional pornography is that they edit out all of the set ups. You need to see real people moving around in order to grap the idea that the people are real. If you don't believe that they're real it all becomes a mess of flesh moving to a sexy rhythm.

The ultimate pornographic video shouldn't include that much sex. This is one of the reasons that I like RussianStudentOrgy.avi, the whole first thirty minutes is clothed friends enjoying a party. Through this segment you can pick out certain traits about each person, and really start to feel like you can better understand the fucking that comes later. Through this you realize that the people are real. Realness makes for good pornography.

Good pornography is all about context. It's all about the set up.

Jusian ancestry

2006-06-13T01:08:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #57
Every once in a while it will strike me as how totally absurd pornography, and to a larger extent sex in general, really is. If you take time to just think really basic thoughts about fucking you might know what I mean. Like...just think about two people licking each other in their special places. That's weird to me.

What makes me remember this is recently they've been airing the episode of South Park where Earth is a reality show on Comeday Central. There's a part where the alien Jews start to go at it, and they're all like, "Suck my jagon." Now, replace the aliens with people, and replace jagon with cock and you might see how that kinda messes with my head.

Faith

2006-06-09T22:37:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #56
Oops...I guess making that entry earlier put me in the wrong mindset for the rest of the day. Don't matter.

Fifty-six is a pretty big number, though. Like I've said before, I really don't want to get into the tripple digits before the end of the year, but it seems like that is probably unavoidable. Who knows, maybe it could happen.

Eat Fresh

2006-06-09T12:33:00.000-07:00

In the majority of the Japanese pornography I've downloaded there's always one scene per video where some girl randomly gets surrounded by a bunch guys, then gang raped. It's not really all that violent of a rape either, the girl just makes little squeeking noises while she shakes her head.

This one scene I find kinda funny in particular...

Right away we fade into a bunch of guys just standing around in a fake subway car. In Japan it's pretty common to Rape Squads to hide out in otherwise completely empty carriges just waiting for unsuspecting prey...

Walking in from stage left is the victim. She address the audience, all though what she's saying is completely unknown to me. Maybe, "I am on my way to grandmothers, hope I don't get orgified while on this train." Or perhaps it's a socially conscious statement regarding the fictionalization of fantasy rape.

Suddenly one of the attackers attacks. Everyone's reaction is hilarious to me. Firstly, the guy looks like he's thinking about how awesome he is. "Yeah, yeah, you like that?" Then all of the other passengers are afirming that they are, indeed, a part of the Rape Squad. If any passenger was not a member he would definitly be hitting the boobie grabber in the face right now. And of course, the girls reaction is that typical Japanese pornography thing where they're saying, "Yes please, no thank you."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fuckin' awesome. You like that?"

"What a lovely skirt you have!"

Dunno

2006-06-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #55
Sometimes I feel bad that my average isn't exactly where I want it to be. Then I remember that here are people out there who are masturbating multiple times a day. You could say that masturbation is a defining thing about me, but not as much as it is for those people.

I haven't really written anything worth while here recently. Mostly I've just been keeping track of the number of times that I've wanged poo. However, sometime soon I could start writing more I guess. We'll see.

Eyes

2006-06-05T00:32:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #54
My spunk looks pretty unhealthy. Without eating a proper diet, or getting exercise, or touching the testicles it just doesn't look very nice. Thankfully no girl has had to have it in her mouth recently or I would feel a little bad.

Maybe I should start eating fruit. Or is it vegetables? Either way, doesn't matter.

Summer is Stupid

2006-06-02T12:59:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #53
Hallo June. Let's try to be a good month for da wang poo, aye?

Auxilary

2006-05-29T23:45:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #52
Best Friends Forever sings, "Too hot to wear protection in July!" Yeah, it's also too hot to masturbate, but not really. "Young bodies are perfection in July!" "Babies become babies in April!"

Catchy stuff.

iWang

2006-05-26T13:05:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #51
The nice thing about masturbating is that you don't have to think about masturbating for a while. Recently all of my wang poos have been breed from circumstance.

NERV

2006-05-23T23:12:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #50
A new strategy, that's what I need. Going once every four days twice in a row has pretty much been negated by this poo wang. Half one hundred. I didn't want to pass into the tripple digits for the whole year! It'll suck to get to the 99th Poo Wanged and then have to hold it for the rest of the year, especially if it comes sometime in October or something.

This next paragraph was going to be about how I haven't been fucking anyone recently. I was going to mention how it wouldn't count toward the poo wangs if it were to be on a girls face. That's some vulgar shit. I'm actually a very sensitive guy.

Yawn

2006-05-22T00:49:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #49
Opinions change fast after you shoot your load.

End communication.

Fuck you Japorn

2006-05-20T22:35:00.000-07:00

I'm angry. I decided to download a funny looking torn porrent that I could on Javtalk. It was like...Japanese Woodstock + fucking. The video turned out to be a total bomb, and only about...50% as hilarious as I expected.

Anyway fucking way, when the video finished downloading this happened to all my files and folders...

Who the fuck wants underlined, hand clicking bullshit? I want my double click back! Mother fucking Japanese cocksuckers. Am I going to have to reformat over something so fucking stupid?

I'm angry.

What's it all about?

2006-05-18T22:14:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #48
Good thing: Another 4 days.
Bad thing: Hatred.

A weird sort of thing just happened whilst I wanged this poo: I got really fucking pissed off at the people who decided to be filmed while fucking. Recently I've been becoming so misanthropic that I've been feel down in general, and looking back it was probably a bad idea to use College as tonights keyword, like I was just asking for trouble. That was some really fucking annoying porn I just watched. I really feel like those people just shouldn't be allowed to make pornography, or...I dunno...I'm at a loss for words, really.

Like...I think you'll get a kick out of this clip.

It just hurts my head for some reason.

I wouldn't be surprised if I went for longer than four days from today without wanging da poo. Man, what a world.

Get up! I'm a sex machine!

2006-05-17T14:02:00.000-07:00

I don't know why, but just now I remembered Geroppa! and I feel like talkin' about it. When I started getting into Japanesse films it was one of the first that I saw that was unlike anything else I had seen until that point. It's about a small time yazuka who is going to jail and the last thing he wants to do before he goes in is see James Brown in concert. So his brothers form this elaborate plan to kidnap James Brown, only they botch it and grab some random black guy instead.

This doesn't really relate to masturbation at all. It's just something I wanted to mention. It's one fucking hilarious movie, and if I had disposable income I would pick it up.

Bunt

2006-05-16T21:48:00.000-07:00

There are times when sacraficial wang poos must be made even if you aren't feelin' it. Times when you want just the right amount of spunk stored up for a special occassion. I might look back on tonight and realize that I should've made that move to partially empty my shell. Really though I don't feel like it and I'm too tired to stay awake for much longer.

If I can get in a round tomorrow morning that might be a good idea, but I'm not exactly sure. We'll just have to wait and see how things go.

It's awwwwwright

2006-05-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #47
Another 4 days in the bag. That pretty impressive, though I feel like I could've made it to 5 days, but quite frankly I didn't want to do that.

When the end of the year comes I think reading through this whole thing is going to make me crack up so fucking hard. Things that I do in the past that I am all of a sudden reminded of in the future take me to the floor. People may have had doubts about me making it all the way, but being half-way through the year and still going strong is quite the accomplishment.

haha Good times.

Chicken bones

2006-05-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

Cool, I'm going to make it another four days. This weekend I was on the road, and when I stay in hotels I usually don't feel like wanging da poo. The guys who I went to Japan with said that it felt extra good to jerk off in the hotel room, maybe some day I'll give it a shot.

Again I'll promise the Airu Kaede review, and eventually I'll tell my Ultimate Warrior story.

Neck crank

2006-05-11T11:05:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #46
Making it another four days has me feelin' A OK. I think I could've made it to five days, but it really doesn't matter that much. Actually, none of this matters. It has boosted my average slightly, and that's the name of the game.

Hmm...I meant to takes some screen captures of the Airu Kaede video, but everytime I thought about doing it I ended up doing something else instead. The next time I think of it I'll just go ahead and do it. Exlcuding this time just now, cuz that doesn't sound.

Save image as

2006-05-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

For a while I couldn't take screen shots with Media Player Classic, but today I did a simple Google search and figure out what was wrong. Now I'm gonna start "reviewing" a few of my favorite videos that currently reside in my "A" (stands for porn) folder.

The first one up will either be the infamous RussianStudentOrgy.avi or perhaps the Airu Kaede video I got early in April.

Audience costs in masturbation theater

2006-05-07T09:58:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #45
This morning I spent a little bit of time trying to predict masturbation futures. I tried to calculate averages based on scenarios that could play out for the next week, like what would happen if I went four days without a Poo Wanged and then what would happen if I did it today and the next day, but then not for four days. Really I was just trying to kill some time, I don't really care thaaat much.

None of that speculation matters, the future is now. All though I didn't make consecutive four day streaks I did manage to keep up with the three day limit. My average is at 2.82, and I would really like to get that above 3 soon. I'll keep shooting for four days, and baring any slip ups I should make my goal sometime soon.

Again again

2006-05-06T18:52:00.000-07:00

I think I'm gonna make it another four days. All I have to do is get through tomorrow without touching my weiner and I'll be A OK. I'm going to be pretty busy, as I think I might have a show during the day time and then there should be poker after that.

Today I kept busy finishing up a song for Ano Pajamas. The idea is that when you're in a band you should get lots of poon, right? So the movies would lead you to believe. lolx0rz nm

Oh, the bad thing, though, is that I've finally started frequenting the /h/ board. It doesn't really matter that much, since it isn't that active of a place, but there are some pretty great h-mangas there. Yawn.

Fantastic Four

2006-05-04T01:50:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #44
The goal is the masturbate less. The goal is to increase my average. The goal is to watch less porn.

This is the first time in a while that I've actually met all the goals that I was shooting for. Hopefully from here it can only get better. If I'm back here tomorrow with another Poo Wanged I'm definitely going to feel let down. I'm gonna try to make it another four days, though.

That door cannot open

2006-05-03T16:24:00.000-07:00

Bravo. Today is the fourth day without masturbating. I had some trying times last night before I went to bed, but I was able to remain strong, finally proving I have the ability to overcome this crippling once-a-three-day addiction.

Now that I've made it, however, I feel very mixed about my success. I all of a sudden have this irrational fear that my penis will never work again. It's as if my weiner is too confused because it hasn't shot the shit for a while, like it'll never be needed to work again.

Also, I'm not content with only four days. I'm going for five, which should be pretty easy, as all I have to do is not jerk it in the next 6 hours. Booya grandma.

Non

2006-05-02T03:50:00.000-07:00

All right, so today would be the third day since I last masturbated, and usually my weiner would be in hand faster that you can say pancakes. But I'm trying, Ringo, I'm trying real hard.

Hopefully this post will act as a pre-emptive strike on my ejaculation ambitions, since I don't like posting two times in one day. If I can keep myself busy, I might just be able to make it to day four, the first time in a long time.

Chocolate Synthesizer

2006-04-29T00:12:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #43
There was a time when I thought I could get to May with only 40 wang poos. What it all comes down to, however, is that I've been pretty bored for this last part of April. When I'm bored I'm more like to masturbate, simply because it's another thing that could shed some time before I can get back to bed.

Next time I get real bored I'll try to do something productive. lol That isn't true, I'll probably still pull out my weiner.

2006-04-28T03:22:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #42
Well, it should be unsurpring that I was unable to meet another goal I had set. I was pretty tried when I got home from The Flying Party show, but I wasn't in a sleepy mood, so instead I thought I would just browse some porn sites...

Yeah, bad idea. It doesn't matter, though. None of this matters.

Allergies or flu

2006-04-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

When I could come home sick from school, as in legit-sick, I would spend my time either sleeping, singing songs (because my voice sounds nice when it's filled with mucus), or wanging da poo. Right now I'm sick, and it's too late for singing songs, too early for sleeping, so I've kind of have one sick-time option.

I'm going to try remaining strong, however. I'm not going to go to any porn sites under the guise of idle browsing. I'm not going to open up my "A" folder which houses my Airu Kaede, my RussianStudentOrgy.avi, and the others. I'll probably just go watch TV, and if a Girls Gone Wild informercial comes on I'm going to swtich the channel.

Here's what I'm thinking: if I can get through tonight I'll be able to break this horrid 3-day streak I've been on. Tomorrow I have a show, and I'll probably be too tired afterwards to do anything but sleep. The next day hopefully I'll be able to play poker all night. If I can do all of this I will get to the fourth day.

I'm wishing myself luck.

Isn't it?

2006-04-25T00:44:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #41
There are some things in this world that just cannot be helped. One of these things is my once-a-three-day masturbation habit. It just can't be helped.

Ah well.

A photograph of you

2006-04-22T01:38:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #40
I don't have very good masturbation discipline. I set goals, but I rarely ever meet them; and if I do meet them it's only a short while until I regress, then make the same goals again. That's just the kind of person I am, I guess.

Do you remember a little while back when I said I had Prince stuck in my head while I was jaggin'? Well, that that kind of thing happened again, only it isn't Prince that's in my head, it's A Flock Of Seagulls. I heard a song called "Wishing" by them on VH1 Classics earlier, and it's been in my head for a while, and it certainly didn't leave while I was jerkin'. It was weird to say the least.

This is what A Flock Of Seagulls looks like...

Also, I just hit the 40th Poo Wanged. If I don't masturbate for the rest of April that'll be an average of ten per month. I think that's a pretty acceptable average, so let's see if I can go a week and a day without...doing my thing.

I'm sure I can do it if I try my best!

Three days

2006-04-21T04:51:00.000-07:00

I just got bummed out a little bit. I was thinking in my head, "Sweet, d00de! You haven't wanged da poo since like...jeeze, that must've been Monday! Maybe, you'll make it an entire week without going cum-cum."

Of course, I was completely wrong, since I apparently masturbated on Wednesday. This has definitely pissed me right the fuck off, so I think in retaliation I'm not going to sexualize myself until next Wednesday if I can.

You're likely to see me updating with a Poo Wanged in the near future, however.

Chapter 1

2006-04-19T21:32:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #39
Boredom is the #1 killer of non-masturbation streaks. Oh well. Better luck next time.

Damn u Airu

2006-04-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #38
I feel like I earned this poo wang the right way. The last three or four posts have been pretty good to me, and I think I've made good on the promise I made a couple of weeks ago to add more content.

That being said my average is still below once every three days. I do want to get that average up to four eventually, so even though I'm writting better stuff it still isn't helping with the overall goal.

Give me Airu

2006-04-17T11:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a happy day! For the first time in a week or so I checked out what was new at Javtalk, the online Japanese AV torrent forum. To my completely and utter surprise there was a new Airu Kaede torrent in someone's update, the first Airu video to be posted since December 5th of last year.

Airu Kaede has been mentioned here before, and just last week I was thinking of purchasing my first hardcopy pornography because I was so bummed about deleting the only video I had of her from my last hard drive.

Anyway, for some reason an idea popped into my head today that I for some unknown reason hadn't thought of before...

Are there people in Japan with a mosaic fetish?

For those of you are unaware, pornography in Japan has the penis and vagina censored out. Sometimes they blur, but most of the time they just saturate the offending areas with flesh-toned pixels.

Knowing Japan I am almost 100% certain that some company out there is making cock socks with random blocks of color on them. Or maybe someone has tatooed their penis with some sort of checkered pattern. Has a Japanese kid, after watching so much porn, looked down at his penis and hallucinated pixels all over his crotch? Suddenly all of these ideas came into my head when I saw Airu go down on some pixels this morning.

Maybe I'll post a review for "Abnormal Slave Secretary" after I finsih the whole thing, complete with favorite moment screenshots.

Harry Reems

2006-04-16T02:39:00.000-07:00

For all my life I have found old things, especially anything created before I was born, to be completely worthless. If you've ever had a conversation with me about any sort of medium I've probably mentioned that most anything before the year 2000 is invalid. Mostly I've applied this to things like music and movies, sometimes books.

For the past year, however, that opinion has slowlybegan to change. I've started digging some old music, mostly because of the VH1 Classics channel. After seeing The Thing and Casablanca my opinion about old movies has changed too, and now it seems that my head has finally gotten around old pornography.

While browsing Puretna.com I decided to grab a torrent for a movie made in 1973 called Wet Rainbow. At first I only clicked the link because I thought Wet Rainbow was a pretty hilarious title for a porn film, but only after I read the synopsis did I truely begin to understand the awesomeness:

And in this movie, the scene they played on the couch is one of the best in the history of XXX. This movie is really about the voyage of sexual discovery by Spelvin. You decide , after watching this scene, if she likes butt sex…

For most people I don't imagine implied anal rape would spike an interest, but for me it's a whole different story.

Long story short, Harry Reems is my new hero. When this guy sticks it in her pooper he just goes for it, man, like it doesn't even give a fuck. He's like, "Yeah, I'm bored with your poonaner, spread them buttcheeks!" Then he just fucking starts to push his dick into this chicks ass until it pops through. Also, I think he is one cool looking mother fucker. Check this guy out...

It's like my other personal hero John Oates became a fucking porn star. That's some classy shit right there.

There were many redeeming qualities to Wet Dreams, and it wasn't only about the simulated assfucking, and I say simulated because I'm pretty sure that aside from the momentary close up shot the rest is purely vaginal doggystyle. The composition of all the sex scenes were well thought out, and extra care seemed to be given to making sure the lighting was just right. After ranting last time about music being a distracting problem I was treated to some soulful smooth shit that actually acted as an enhancer to the viewing experience.

Basically watching this film reminded me of sitting in a porno theater in Shimbashi with old Japanese salarymen. All I'm saying is there's a possibility I might have to watch more of this shit. I might have to dive into classic pornography.

What is your function in life?

2006-04-14T00:33:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #37
Yesterday I watched a lot of porn and had a lot of fun. It's sweet finding new sites that will lead me to new stuff I haven't seen before. Yesterday it was through KatsMovies that my eyes were opened to a lot of new stuff. I wish I had saved the video of the girl snorting cum through a rolled up $100. Alas, it is lost for now.

In the post below I talk about how over-exagerated dirty talk in professional pornography takes away from the realism I generally like in my vids. Mike Schreff brought it to my attention that I didn't exactly give home the message that I intended to. What I didn't mean to imply was that girls never say things while fucking (ex: "fuck me harder", "slam my cunt") but that continual, non-stop proclaimations are unrealistic and I have never been in a situation where a girl while never shut the fuck up while she's being loved.

If you click the link provided at the bottom of yesterday's post you'll understand what I mean.

Clean shaved teens

2006-04-13T17:05:00.000-07:00

I've always made it clear that I don't like professionally made pornography. It's long been documented that I despise the visual production, with proper lighting and glossy girls making me weiner go limp.

Just now, while lazily watching some fucking, I've realized another few things that take me out of the porn experience.

I don't fuck to music unless it's Godspeed You! Black Emperor. Why must pro-porn companies insist on there being cheesy music while people fuck on screen? As much as I like porn, I might like music more, and I cannot focus on genitals if there's bad music annoying the shit out of me.

From my experience girls do not say things like, "Fuck me harder!! OOOOOH SHIIIT!!!" while I'm fucking them. Now, it could be that I suck at fucking, but I really don't think that's the case; it's probably just another example of unrealism being displayed in high-grade pornograpy. I enjoy sex sounds (MUH! MUH! MUH!), so long as they're portrayed in a realistic manner, but sexy talking during sex just doesn't connect with me.

Ummm...here's a screen capture from the clip that made me realize all of this...

Link for those interested.

Perspective (it's all a matter of)

2006-04-11T14:39:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #36
Yeah, I wanged da poo again. Big whoop. It takes me up to 36 poo wangs for the year, but to me that's a pretty good place to be at. Sure, I would like it if this were only my 20th time ejaculating, but that's just not the case, and 36 is still a big improvement from where I could be at. I'm still going roughly 1/3 less than the once-a-dayers.

It's a bad idea to try watching pornography from an objective point of view. There's a reason why they don't show pink films at your local cineplex.

My daughters fucking a black dude

2006-04-11T01:08:00.000-07:00

Tonight I felt like jerking off. It occured to me that I hadn't watched any latina porn recently, so I thought I'd check some out while I did my thing. As I lazily browsed through some sample pages I came upon one description line that completely took me out of the situation...

Latina Teen Babe Nice Tits Hard Fucks Big Negro For Coon Cum

On another note I've been thinking about crossing a line that I probably shouldn't cross. Ever since I deleted my Airu Kaede video I've felt empty inside. When I tried to grab the torn porrent again there were no seeders. I really need an Airu fix...am I going to have to pay for some DVD-R's from shotty online AV stores? I certainly hope so/not.

Crossroads w/ Britany Spears

2006-04-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #35
I'll admit that this blog has been failing pretty hard recently. It's just that after I ejaculate I feel so let down with myself that I cannot even begin to write productive posts. It doesn't help that these past three or four weeks I haven't been very disiplined at all with my masturbation habits.

I'm going to try to turn a new page starting now. I need to wang da poo less and post more on my off days. There's no point in continuing the blog if it A) doesn't work as a deterent and B) isn't funny.

Fuck

2006-04-05T12:18:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #34
I masturbated.

Making a lot

2006-04-02T13:33:00.000-07:00

Poo Wanged: #33
Are you familiar with the Dunkin' Donuts commerical where they guys sleepily proclaims, "Time to make the donuts."? That's kind of how I feel, only instead of donuts I'm makin' pseduo-babies.

Pullin' a Muhgellin'

2006-03-30T08:38:00.000-08:00

Poo Wanged: #32
Sometimes when I'm not feeling very adventurous I wang da poo to those free sample pages like Video Post, and Vid Gals, and Giga Vids, and Julia Movies, and Ducky Porn, et cetera. It's easy to just pick my favorite word filter and then start the wanking, instead of dilligently searching for appealing torn porrents.

On most of these free preview sites they have hidden links that will direct you to other free preview sites. Usually I avoid these sites pretty easily after figuring out the 4 live links/1 advertising link ratio. Today, however, I felt like finding some new sites to browse, so I continually clicked sponsor links just to see where I would end up.

I found some nice stuff, nothing too spectacular. It was worth it just to change up the game plan for once, kind of like when I was into using Yahoo! and Google as a porn finder. I wonder where my next porn exploration will take me. Hmm...